The Gift in the Poison

I was the second of seven children and the first daughter born into a faithful Mormon family. My upbringing was rooted in spirit, structure, and tradition—but my path from the beginning was anything but ordinary.
 
At just six weeks old, I began violently projectile vomiting. By three and a half months, I was having seizures. My mom, trusting her instincts, rushed me to the hospital. In a stroke of divine timing, a British doctor happened to be on staff—someone who had seen this rare condition before.
 

I was diagnosed with Neurogenic Laryngeal Stridor Seizures—a rare and unusual neurological condition. At the time, I was only the eighth documented case.

 

The treatment? A controversial one: Belladonna—a hallucinogen and a poison. My mom was mortified. She had to give her baby toxic drops, terrified she might kill me… but convinced that not giving them would mean losing me anyway. It was an impossible decision—but it worked. I survived. I healed. I grew out of the condition.

But some say I grew into something else entirely.

My parents believe that moment—the belladonna, the brink-of-death experience—opened a gateway. That it somehow thinned the veil between this world and the next and allowed me to access the unseen from a very young age.

And honestly? Even as a kid, I had a thing for the mystical and the mind-bending… so it tracks that I grew up to love psychedelics, too 🍄. Let’s just say the universe gave me a head start.